I may earn money or products from the companies mentioned in this post. As an Amazon Affiliate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Parenting is not for the faint of heart, especially if you have a stubborn or downright defiant daughter. You need to be prepared + more determined than she is to help her get through the issues that arise.
Having a game plan in place is crucial for your success and hers. Consider incorporating these parenting strategies for dealing with a defiant daughter.
Defiant, stubborn daughters tend to test your patience + stretch your parenting skills to the limit on the reg. This is just part of raising girls, for the most part.
All girls ten to go through at least two defiant stages:
Around age two or three, when they learn the “n” word + go around saying no to EVERYTHING.
Then, it comes back around again when they hit their teen years, when they say “no” as they practice making mature choices + decisions (or sometimes not making mature + good choices).
If your daughter has been diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) by a doctor, you can encounter similar issues. However, there are differences related to frequency + severity due to the cause of the defiant behavior.
Under these circumstances, it’s even more important to have solid foundations, plans + consequences in place.
Whether your daughter is going through one of the common defiant stages, dealing with ODD, or has another major issue, it’s important to address the problem early. In fact, at the first sign of defiant behavior, model + teach your daughter acceptable ways to react + respond to situations she faces.
7 Strategies to Help with a Defiant Daughter
#1 Build a solid foundation
It is never too early to begin teaching your daughter good manners, conflict resolution, problem solving skills + social etiquette. The earlier you begin, the easier it is.
Even before your babies are born, they are learning about the world around them – including actions, reactions, expectations + consequences, or causes + effects. Don’t be afraid to start building the foundation when she is a baby.
Establish boundaries, rules + consequences. Establish these boundaries + rules to address your expectations for your daughter + for your own behavior, as well. When setting up consequences for your child(ren), try to correlate the consequences with a specific issue.
Write down the consequences so your daughter knows what is going to happen if she chooses to disobey or ignore rules. Depending on what your child responds to, you may restrict or disallow the use of an item, especially if it contributed to what she did to break a rule or disobey.
#2 Master your self-control
Your daughter uses you as as role model. Model a calm, cool + collected attitude (even when you are ready to lose your $#@!). Defiant children can be emotional + explosive so you can’t be.
In order to deal successfully with her outbursts, you must control your own thoughts, emotions, actions + words. If you need to, take time to calm down before addressing the behavior issue.
When you talk with your child, keep your tone of voice low, firm + decisive as you discuss family beliefs, values, expectations + rules.
#3 Enforce consequences
When a child knows that consequences are not enforced, they are less likely to follow the rules or stick to the boundaries. Being consistent with enforcing rules can make a HUGE difference.
Whatever the consequence is (losing her iPad for a day or not being allowed to have friends over), consistently enforce it when she done something to lose her privilege.
#4 Hold on to your power
A defiant daughter wants the last word. She also wants you to give in to her wants + way of thinking. Refuse to argue with her.
End the conversation on your terms. Don’t let her wear you down. You have to be more determined than she is.
#5 Refuse to negotiate
Negotiation is a tool used by kids to get their way + get out of dealing with their responsibilities. No matter how much your daughter cries or complains, she must fix her mistake + then accept the consequences for her actions.
#6 Reinforce the positive
Instead of giving attention when she does something wrong, praise + reward her positive behaviors. Point out when she does something well or makes a well-thought out decision. Don’t skimp on the positives if you want your daughter to model them.
Parents must take the time to plan + strategize when it comes to dealing with defiant daughters. Be determined + consistent when dealing with her defiance. Make a plan to include one or more of these 7 parenting strategies for dealing with a defiant daughter.
- 10 Best Things To Do During Summer With Kids
- 5 Tips For Summer Safety For Kids
- 10 Mom Bag Essentials I Have For Summer Fun
- 12 Ideas To DIY Summer Camp At Home
- 3 Resources For Personal + Business Life While You Stay At Home
- How to Protect a Crawling Baby
- How to Keep Happy, Safe + Healthy Girls Throughout the School Year
- 7 Easy Hair Styles For Girls
- When To Start Potty Training Girls
- Best Halloween Costumes for Girls
- 3 Healthy Habits For Girls
- 7 Subscription Boxes For Girls
- 26 Mother-Daughter Date Ideas
- Feeding Time: What to Keep in Mind When Introducing Food to Baby
- Baby on Board: What You Need to Know About Car Seat Safety
- 7 Ways to Help Your Daughter Feel Comfortable in Her Own Skin
- 7 Tips for Nighttime Potty Training Girls
- School Bus Safety Tips to Teach Your Kids
- How to Deal with Unexpected Problems at Delivery
- 3 Characteristics of the Best Mom Car
- 4 Ways to Prevent Your Teen from Texting + Driving
- 3 Tips to Help You Prepare for Labor + Delivery
- Creative Lunch Ideas for School
- Resources + Recommendations for Mommin’ + Bloggin’
- How to Make Hand Washing Fun for Kids
- DIY Halloween Party Ideas for Kids
- 12 Cool Things to Include When Building a House
- 3 Tips for Toddler Girl Summer Fashion
- How to Be a Productive Stay-at-Home Mom
- The Ultimate Guide to Summer Day Camps + Sleepaway Camps
- How to Protect From Child Bee Stings
- 10 Best Books on Raising Strong Girls
- A Complete Mom Guide to Summer Activities with Kids (So Everyone Survives the Summer)
- The Ultimate Guide to Sibling Fighting + How to Stop It
- 7 Things A Mom REALLY Wants for Mother’s Day
- 3 Things to Look for When Choosing a Pediatric Dentist
- 5 Kid-Approved Fun Summer Activities
- A Family Trip Near Shenandoah: Where to Stay, Go + Eat
- Celebrate Earth Month With Green Kid Crafts
- 4 Tips to Prep for Your Disney Trip with Your Kids
- 3 Ways to Model Appropriate Behavior for Your Daughter
- 3 Actions to Take if a Dog Bites Your Child
- 3 Places to Buy Inexpensive but Nice Girls’ Clothes
- 6 Steps to Resolving Conflict with Your Strong-Willed Daughter
- 3 Home Pests That Can Make Your Kids Sick
- 7 Strategies for Dealing with Defiant Daughters
- 7 Books to Help Girls Overcome Anxiety, Fear + Worry + Other Feelings
- The Top 7 Girl Mom Bloggers You Should Be Following
- 3 Tips for Moms Going Back to School
- 3 Tips for Surviving a Move with Young Ones
- 3 Ways to Keep Your Kids Safe in the Car
- To The Mom With A Crazy Toxic Mom
- 12 Non-Toy Easter Basket Ideas for Girls
- 5 Ways To Easier Laundry When You Have Girls
- It’s Flu Season, Ya’ll
- Tips To Be A More Productive Mommy
- Twinkle Twinkle Little Star 1st Birthday Party for a Girl
- 14 Ways to Tell Your Kids You Love Them on Valentine’s Day
- Speed Up Your Family’s Morning Routine
- How to Make Easy Healthy Family Meals
- 7 Tips to be Done with Dinner in Half an Hour or Less
- The Kid Birthday Tradition I Do Every Year (For All 3 Girls)
- 3 Valentine’s Day Foods + Goodies for Your Sweetie
- Easy Freezer Meals for After Baby
- How to Pick Strong Baby Girl Names
- 10 Valentine’s Day Activities for Young Kids
- 101 Winter Bucket List Activities for Young Kids
- How I Went From Being Skeptical to a Believer in 2.7 Seconds
- 2019 Mom Goal
- 10 Rainy Day Activities for Young Kids
- 10 Cringe-Worthy Questions Only Moms of All Girls Are Asked
- #1 Reason I’m Giving My Kids Experience Gifts, Not Toys
- 7 Steps to Create the Perfect 1st Birthday